What happens when this body no longer draws breath, when the gentle rise and fall signifying life slips away.

What happens when it succumbs to the slow dark decay that began all those years ago,

Will it rise from the dead becoming an even more unnatural abomination than it already is,

Or will it remain inert, interred in the cold dark earth to have even the most tender places pulled apart and eaten only to become part of the earth again.

What happens when this heart no longer beats, will it be as cold in the grave as it is inside this body.

What happens when lungs and heart fill with earth as the dying breath is not one taken in a hospital or a home but already in a grave. No coffin just a shallow hole as dark and beautiful as the one I am encased in while I live maybe even more so. Will I hear the shovel tamp the earth down so that it is smooth and perfect once again.

Will its vibrations echo through my body as it struggles against me with its horrible, predictable, immutable will to live. What will the soil taste like,

Or

Will you kill me first in the most loving way. Wrap your body around mine and slowly overpower that will to live. You’re strong enough and I am weak enough or maybe it is that I am strong enough and you are weak enough…