Pessimist – The glass is half empty
Opportunist – Look there is more room for vodka
Fatalist – Your are not going to throw that glass at me are you
Absolutist – I know there is a glass and some liquid
Accompanist – The glass and the liquid go well together.
Ufologist – That liquid was brought by aliens, they want us to fill the other half of the glass
Numismatist – Let’s play quarters
Nutritionist – That’s half the daily allowance of blue liquid in the glass
Occultist – Half the liquid was sacrificed to raise a demon.
Futurist – I will drink the rest of the water in that glass at a later date
Eristist – I am going to throw that glass at you!
Absurdist – Flip the glass over and the liquid will stay in
Geneticist – I can clone that liquid and fill the glass