The Reality of Life, Suicide, and Death

So I am single, older, and not rich. I have no children. People wonder why I am two steps from suicide on any given day. Well here it is, I took care of my father as he got old and eventually couldn’t do things for himself. I am currently taking care of my mother as she gets old and can do less for herself. What do you honestly think will happen to me when I get old and can no longer do things for myself?

 

I will end up in an institution because I can’t take care of myself, laying on a mat on the ground because I can no longer stand and am a fall risk, force fed canned, pureed food for the rest of my miserable life, listening to the screams of patients who are at least fortunate enough to have lost their minds. Or is the horror more real to them because they are crazy. This is the reality of what happens to the people who no one wants and my whole life no one has wanted me, I am not deluding myself enough to think my death will be any better.

Ordinarily I at least post a picture but if you don’t know what goes on in low income nursing homes…

Look up pressure sores, elder abuse, and nursing home abuse and switch to images.

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About Killingdanse

I am the girl that was pretty but too smart. I am the girl that you sat and discussed horror movies, sci-fi novels, and molecular genetics with but were scared of because sometimes you saw the darkness peak out from inside me.
This entry was posted in Broken, Dead, Death, Dying, Insanity, Quiet Insanity and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Reality of Life, Suicide, and Death

  1. Dear Killingdanse,
    As a Retired/Disabled Nurse I did my fair share of Nursing Home Care. The problem is that is takes more than 1 nurse to prevent bed sores, and due to budgeting they will often not staff accordingly. It’s an atrocity the way our Seniors are treated in our present day. These are Men and Woman who participated in War, and other Historical events. I’m Compassionate to your post!
    Anastasia 😊

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