Why Do I Wake Up Like This?

I know the depression has been bad lately but… I am currently in one of the most beautiful places on the earth (or at least I think so) and I wake up sad. I wake up wanting to die or not wake up at all. If I could right now I would take a million drugs just for this to stop. I should be happy, excited, hopeful, something other than overwhelmingly sad. Why do I feel like this? Yes, I know the technical of why and it is not why me. I would rather it be me than anyone else. I wouldn’t ask anyone to feel like this on a regular basis.

I have no reason to feel this way. My job is fine, money is tight but okay, I am on vacation, my truck is being fixed – my insurance may go up but okay, it can’t go up by that much. I am not particularly lonely. There is no reason for me to wake up like this.

 

dpt1

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About Killingdanse

I am the girl that was pretty but too smart. I am the girl that you sat and discussed horror movies, sci-fi novels, and molecular genetics with but were scared of because sometimes you saw the darkness peak out from inside me.
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4 Responses to Why Do I Wake Up Like This?

  1. Dark Ages says:

    I wake up like that every day. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I lie there and think about all of the things that could go wrong in a day. All of the things I’ve left undone, all of the things that need to be done. It’s horrific. I can’t stop obsessing.

  2. adamf2011 says:

    But what has happened to the goats?

    Will there be no more goats?

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