Although it isn’t common knowledge, my Dom and I spend a lot of time apart. Circumstances force us to conduct a long-distance and in-person lifestyle relationship. Since I am not a straight-up submissive it was important that we built rewards into our scenes and play. Some people say that being submissive and serving your Dom is reward itself but this can cause some resentment particularly when he doesn’t have the time to play with me as often as we would like or we are on different sides of the state.
We came up with the idea of rewards to not only make play more fun but to help me feel wanted, needed, and cared for when he is busy. This list is a work in progress so check back often. If you have any reward ideas of your own, we are always open to comments and suggestions.
- Escape 1 punishment without any repercussions. Need a token or something to mark this
- Removal of 1 rule of your choice for 24 hours.
- 1 sushi dinner/lunch prepared by me. *He is an excellent chef and great at sushi
- 1 specially crafted dessert, made from scratch, to your liking.
- You may request up to 3 orgasms at any time, delivered by me, for 24 hours.
- You may demand the fulfillment of any 1 scene you want to do.
- You may demand specific photos or videos of me, for your enjoyment.
- Playing Diablo or other games together *Diablo is a favorite activity that can be played together when we are apart.
- Audio book downloadable – don’t pay full price there are services and sales where they are really cheap or pick one out from the library for you to download.
- Reading to you, while we are together or apart over the phone.
- Giving you a bath
- Brushing your hair
- Painting your nails
- Dinner together out while on the phone when we are apart.
This is a handy list of punishments that my Dom and I use when we are together. Remember to go over the list of punishment activities before any rule or scene to make sure that you agree on them. Just because it is a punishment does not mean that it is not consensual.
A quick word before the list – Punishments are not necessarily meant to be fun, although a lot of these are, to me at least. I cannot stress this enough. The idea of punishment should be something that is agreed upon in ADVANCE. A Dom should never just come up with a punishment out of the blue without first talking to his or her sub. This list is something that UR and I came up will long before we ever got into a situation where punishment might be required.
We also have the understanding that either of us can request a punishment after making it clear we are doing it for fun rather than as an office punishment (as I said I enjoy most of these so it isn’t unusual for one to come up in our scenes without there being an infraction.)
Also, we have clearly defined rules which we’ve worked out. The punishments are listed from mild to severe.
- Spanking, flogging, etc. depending on the infraction
- Naked chores
- No underwear in public
- Wearing lingerie in public or lingerie showing in some non-obvious fashion
- Driving and having to masturbate you or masturbate myself at traffic lights etc
- Learn something I find boring
- Naked chores with collar/lead or bondage
- Holding something inside of me for a length of time
- Stand, sit, or kneel in a certain pose that you enjoy for a given period.
- Make me cum in my panties and wear them throughout dinner
- Clothing partially removed in car while we are driving possibly not a punishment
- Naked front of window clothed or unclothed for a time
- Serve you dinner in the nude or feed you in the nude
- Nipple clamps in public
- Disallow speaking when in public or for a given length of time unless spoken to unless significant need exists (ie I need to speak with you about there being a problem or the house is on fire)
- Wearing toys in public
- Sleeping with a vibrator in or hands bound
- Writing a word or phrase on me to be worn for a given length of time or until it fades
- Ice between layers of clothing until it melts
- Cum in panties and give panties to you after dinner or event