Some of these are things I’ve said and others come from other people but they all basically fit me.
“I am a relatively simple person in a complex set of circumstances.”
“You are so pretty when you are broken”
“I was once asked if I was homicidal and the honest answer was no death is not nearly as pretty as suffering.”
” It feels like sex. It feels like really good, sweaty, animal, oh-good-god-do-that-again sex.”
“An unhappy, smaller-than-should-be-possible ball of Sam.”
“Here we are negotiating like proper psychopaths”
“You think the worst thing is to end up all alone. It’s not, it is ending up with people who make you feel all alone” (robin williams)
And now for those of you who like pretty pictures:
Posted in Broken, Dead, Death, Quiet Insanity, sex, want
Tagged anxiety, art, broken, cutting, dealing with depression, Depression, Health, Quotes, sex, suicide
I thought everyone could use some baby platypi today.
This is not your ordinary anti-suicide message. It will not contain things like you shouldn’t do it because your family will miss you or it’s not the answer because in fact suicide sometimes is the only answer. It is the single best thing you can do for yourself under some circumstances. Now that I have said that I ask people to keep in mind that a boyfriend breaking up with you, a bad day, the loss of a friend, or bullying ARE NOT good reasons for killing yourself. No offense to those who think it is but get over yourself. These are things that will pass and you are probably better for.
There is only one reason you should consider suicide an option – suicide is an option when the pain that you are in be it physical or mental exceeds your ability to cope with it. Now what that level is no one can tell you. Only you know that point, I promise I will get to more on that in another post but for now I will step down off this soap box and hop up on the one that I intended.
It amazes me that suicide is illegal in the United States. People who contemplate it are treated to at least a two day stay in a place where I wouldn’t house a mass murder, watched by people who don’t care, and treated as if they are subhuman. This is unless of course they are lucky enough to have insurance that covers mental health, which for the most part in the US it doesn’t even the good plans.
You are warehoused for 72 hours while someone who doesn’t know you, your circumstance, or what brought you to consider suicide in the first place supposedly evaluates you, your life, and judges you. If that weren’t enough in that 72 hours you are likely to lose your job and some of your friends all while someone you don’t know is trying to decide whether or not you are really contemplating killing yourself. Which if you were not when someone put you in there you will be when you get out.
So the simple answer as to why you shouldn’t attempt suicide is because if you fail your life will become infinitely worse than it was before the attempt. The fact that you want to die doesn’t factor into it at that point and people start making decisions for you. These people making the decisions have no idea what you are feeling or why you are at the point of wanting to die. Tell me there is something right about this situation. I have been searching for years for an answer to that question.
How does this help a person who is suicidally depressed?
I am sorry to everyone who follows this blog. I have not posted in a while mostly because I haven’t written anything in a while. It’s funny when life gets in the way of well… life. It is not always easy to write, nor is it always good to. The changes in me caught me by surprise and it took some time to adjust. For those who know me I am still pretty much two steps from self destruction and suicide the crazy has just been calmer the last few days.
The good news is that in the process of adjusting I met someone very close to what and who I am.
The bad news is that in the process of adjusting I met someone very close to what and who I am.
Obviously I haven’t decided whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing. I think I can only wait and see what happens. It is strange and kind of wonderful to understand someone and I am still not sure that this whole thing is wise.
Hopefully I will be able to pick back up writing, I just can’t seem to find the latch inside my head that lets all of the crazy wander out and onto the page. If anyone has any ideas on how to do this I am up for just about anything.
For those who need it I give you an obscenely happy goat.
Posted in Art, Quiet Insanity, want, Work
Tagged Adventure, anxiety, danger, darkness, dealing with depression, goats, happy, obscene, Recreation, relationships