The Monster Inside Me

The monster inside me growls twisting its body right behind my eyes. I can feel it slither turning circles. Its body sliding sharp scales against my brain leaving lacerations that not even I can understand the implications of. I hear its rumbling breath, the gravelly whoosh that a large reptile at rest makes. It is much better when it is sleeping. I don’t have to feel it move restlessly like it is now. It wants something although it will not tell me what and I can’t fathom what it could possibly be. Sometimes it talks in low growling voice sounding much like the rumble of an earthquake sending vibrations through me. At times these vibrations are pleasant and at others horrific. At times it makes my entire body quake with the force of it. It echoes in my head painfully when it wants something as it is doing tonight.

If it would just tell me what it needs at this point I would gladly give it over without hesitation just to make it quiet again. The bladed tail swishes back and forth drowning the other voices, the quieter voices. The ones that tell me in their strange double way of speaking what I should do. These are the voices that make want to slice into my skin to let them out. There used to be only one crying in the distance but now there is a cacophony of speech sometimes drowned out by the dragon curled behind my eyelids. I can almost see him when I close my eyes. He is getting stronger and the rational voices are getting weaker. His frightening visage scares others when he peeks through my eyes. Others see something in me that scares them when he looks directly at them.

morningstar

Ut alii do vita et sanabitur anima mea. Omnibus Angelis sanctis, et daemones praeesse dolor sit moriar et alius potest salvari. In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.